JUDICA me, Deus, et discerne causam meam de gente non sancta: ab homine iniquo et doloso erue me.
Quia tu es, Deus, fortitudo mea: ' quare me repulisti, ' et quare tristis incedo, ' dum affligit me inimicus?
Emitte lucem tuam et veritatem tuam: ipsa me deduxerunt et adduxerunt in montem sanctum tuum, et in tabernacula tua.
Et introibo ad altare Dei: ' ad Deum qui laetificat juventutuem meam.
Confitebor tibi in cithara, Deus, Deus meus; quare tristis es anima mea, et quare conturbas me?
Spera in Deo, ' quoniam adhuc confitebor illi: ' salutare vultus mei, et Deus meus.
Gloria Patri, et Filio, et Spiritui Sancto.
Sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper: ' et in saecula saeculorum.
AMEN
DEAR FATHER,
Whose IN HEAVEN in with Jesus & God,
WHO OVERWHELMINGLY ALREADY LOVED ME, WE NEVER GOT TO MEET ON THIS EARTH PLANET, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE - NONE, FOR I AM YOUR DAUGHTER AND PROUD OF IT.
I ASK FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS FOR ALL -
I SO DIDN'T KNOW SO MUCH, ABOUT YOU, I WAS SO MISLEAD ABOUT OUR FAMILY. NOT WHEN YOU DIED, THIS BEGAN IN 1974, AND I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FOOL.
I SO WISH I WOULD HAVE GOT TO KNOW YOU. I KNOW WE NOR ANYONE COULD PUT YOUR BRAINS AND SKULL BACK TOGETHER AFTER THAT BULLETS WENT THRU.
I FEEL SO ROBBED OF YOU, WE ALL WERE. WHAT A WONDERFUL MAN YOU WERE. I AM THANKFUL TO YOU FOR GIVING ME THE BREATH OF LIFE. THANK YOU FOR WANTING ME AND LOVING ME, SOMEDAY I HOPE TO SEE YOU IN HEAVEN WHEN I COME TO STAY SOMEDAY FOR I KNOW THAT'S WHERE YOU ARE.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME, FATHER:
FOR NOT KNOWING OR REMEMBERING MORE OF WHO AND WHAT MADE YOU YOU. A VERY SPECIAL PERSON ON THIS EARTH YOU WAS AND I KNOW YOU ARE STILL WATCHING OVER THIS NATION AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ME INCLUDED, UP THERE BY GOD'S SIDE, HE'S PRETTY COOL ISN'T HE?
I THINK YOU'D BE PROUD OF THE THINGS I THINK ABOUT, I DO BELIEVE YOU WOULD LOVE THE IDEAS I HAVE AND HELP ME WITH THE LEGALITIES OF WHY AND HOW TO DO OR THE LEGALITIES OF HOW AND WHY IT CAN'T BE DONE UNLESS SOMETHING ELSE FIRST OR EVEN IF NOT AT ALL. I THINK YOU WOULD TAKE THE TIME AND GIVE ME YOUR PERSONAL ATTENTION AND WITH LOVE, AND HELP ME UNDERSTAND THE WAYS OF SOCIETY, LAWS, PEOPLE, AND NEEDS, I SPEAK OF THINGS AND COME UP WITH IDEAS AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO PROCEED ON FORWARD FROM THERE, I AM JUST OFF TO THE NEXT IDEA. I GUESS MAYBE THERE IS ALWAYS BEEN SOME KIND OF ROADBLOCK KINDA PUT UP IN FRONT OF ME TO PREVENT ME FROM KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT ALL TO DO, AND FROM KNOWING WHAT ALL NOT TO DO.
I THINK I HAVE BEEN TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF AND IT DOES HURT, FOR I AM AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN TOO FORGIVING OF A PERSON. JUST SHRUG IT OFF AND TRY NOT TO FEEL ANY PAIN OR TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHY, IT BECAME A WAY OF LIFE BECAUSE OF THE INABILITY TO UNDERSTAND AND COMPREHEND, IT IS HOW I COPE, PAST AND PRESENT.
I HAVE BEEN INTENTIONALLY MISEDUCATED, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO YOU AND LOTS OF OTHER ISSUES, I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WENT THAT DEEP AND FAR, AND MY DISABILITIES RUN DEEP, AND IT WAS FLIPPED TO MAKE MY DISABILITIES RUN EVEN DEEPER, SO MUCH DEEPER.
BUT HAVE LOVE FOR THIS NATION, LIFE, AND THIS EARTH - I DO, LIKE YOU. IT MAKES A DANG DIFFERENCE, AND MY LOVE FOR YOU IS TRUE, ALWAYS HAS BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE. EACH HUMAN LIVES THEIR OWN LIFESTYLE, AND IT IS THEIR RIGHT AND CHOICE TO MAKE.
I HAVE SURVIVED MUCH, AS YOU KNOW. THE PATH AND THINGS I HAVE BEEN THRU AND WOULD FACE AS I GREW, AND GROW I DID, WITH THESE BEING THINGS I FACE FOR LIFE, AS GOD SO KNEW IT WOULD BE. I CAN'T PRETEND NONE OF THESE THINGS EVER HAPPENED, FOR THEY DID, AND THEY CAN HAPPEN TO ANYBODY, EACH THERE OWN CIRCUMSTANCES AND EACH THEIR OWN STORY TO TELL AND TO LIVE AFTERWARDS WHEN ONE SURVIVES, IT IS THE ONE'S WHO DON'T SURVIVE THAT THEIR STORY ENDS THERE AND THEN.
ALL MY LOVE FROM ONE OF YOUR REMAINING DAUGHTERS HERE DOWN ON THIS EARTH, TO YOU IN THE HEAVENS ABOVE. SISTER AND I ARE ESTRANGED AND THAT MAY CAUSE YOU SOME HEARTACHE IN A WAY, I PRAY NOT, BUT THE FUTURE IS YET TO SEE, AS SHE HAS LIVED HER PATH AND I MINE. FIVE GRANDCHILDREN, SO FAR, YOU DID NOT GET TO MEET, AND SOME WITH CHILDREN OF THEIR OWN NOW ALREADY TOO, BEING YOUR GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN.
SOMETIMES IT FEELS AS IF LIFE, THE YEARS HAVE FLEW BY, AND OTHER TIMES IT FEELS AS IF THEY ARE SO SLOW. THE DOWNS AND THE UPS, THE BAD AND THE GOOD, THE UGLY AND THE BEAUTIFUL, THE TOTAL OF IT ALL IN WHOLE.
YOUR YOUNGEST CHILD,
WITH LOVE FOREVER, ETERNITY, AND BEYOND,
TILL IN HEAVEN, WE SHALL BE REUNITED.
DEBORAH KIM G-B-KENNEDY
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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