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Writer's pictureDebbie Kim P-B-Kennedy

"BOOGERS AND OTHER THINGS" BY: LONNIE E. BROWN, FROM THE BOOK "STORIES YOU WON'T BELIEVE"

Updated: May 14, 2023

THIS IS NUMBER 16 OF 40 FROM THE BOOK "STORIES YOU WON'T BELIEVE" BY: LONNIE E. BROWN - TITLED "BOOGERS AND OTHER THINGS"

BOOGERS AND OTHER THINGS


IF WE'D ADMIT IT, WE'VE ALL HAD OUR SHARE OF EMBARRASSING MOMENTS WITH ANIMALS. I KNOW I HAVE. ONE THAT I HAD TO LIVE DOWN IN MY FAMILY STARTED AT DUSK ONE NIGHT WHEN MY DAD TOLD ME TO GO TO THE STORE AND GET SOME OIL FOR OUR LAMPS.

WE HAD BEEN TRYING FOR SOME TIME TO GET ELECTRICITY IN THE HOMES ON OUR ROAD, BUT SO FAR WE WERE UNSUCCESSFUL. OURS WAS ONE OF EIGHT FAMILIES THAT HAD TO AGREE TO THE SERVICE BEFORE THE ELECTRIC COMPANY WOULD PUT UP THE POLES AND DO THE WIRING. FOUR OF US WANTED ELECTRICITY. THE OTHER FOUR WERE HOLDING OFF BECAUSE THEY WERE AFRAID THAT WIRING THEIR HOUSES MIGHT CAUSE THEIR HOUSES TO CATCH FIRE. ELECTRICITY WAS A NEW THING, AND SOME PEOPLE DIDN'T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT IT TO TAKE A CHANCE.

DAD AND I CAME HOME LATE ON THIS AFTERNOON FROM OUR MILK ROUTE. MOM MET US AT THE DOOR WITH THE NEWS THAT WE WERE OUT OF OIL. WE'D NEED SOME FOR THE LAMPS THAT NIGHT AND FOR STARTING A FIRE FOR BREAKFAST THE NEXT MORNING. DAD NEEDED TO CHECK THE RIGHT FRONT TIRE ON OUR TRUCK, SO I WAS ELECTED TO GO MAKE THE PURCHASE.

I WAS TIRED FROM LIFTING AND LOADING AND UNLOADING MILK CANS, AND ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS EAT SUPPER AND REST. I NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY THIS LACK OF OIL COULDN'T BE TAKEN CARE OF DURING THE DAYTIME. OF COURSE, MR. HARRINGTON OPENED HIS STORE AT ANY HOUR WHEN A NEIGHBOR NEEDED SOMETHING BECAUSE HE LIVED NEXT DOOR TO HIS STORE, SO NOBODY HAD TO CONFINE THEIR PURCHASES TO THE DAYLIGHT HOURS.

I DIDN'T LIKE TO ADMIT IT, BUT I DIDN'T LIKE TO GO TO MR. HARRINGTON'S STORE AFTER DARK. THE ROAD LED THROUGH A STRIP OF WOODS WHERE MEN USED TO GATHER BY A LITTLE BRIDGE AND GAMBLE. THERE WAS A STORY THAT SUPPOSEDLY WAS TRUE ABOUT A MAN BEING KILLED IN THOSE WOODS OVER A GAMBLING DEBT. SOME PEOPLE SWORE HIS SPIRIT WALKED THE WOODS AT NIGHT, LOOKING TO GET HIS MONEY BACK! I DIDN'T REALLY BELIEVE IN GHOSTS, BUT THE WOODS WERE FULL OF STRANGE SOUNDS AND SHADOWS THAT OFTEN MADE ME SHIVER AND QUICKEN MY STEPS, ESPECIALLY AS I NEARED THE BRIDGE.

"HURRY UP," MOM CALLED TO ME. "I NEED TO FILL UP THE LAMPS."

I PICKED UP THE OILCAN AND STARTED OFF DOWN THE ROAD. I WHISTLED FOR MY DOG BROWNIE TO JOIN ME AND KEEP THE BOOGERS AWAY, BUT NOBODY KNEW THAT REASON BUT ME. JUST AS WE GOT TO THE EDGE OF THE WOODS, BROWNIE SPIED A RABBIT AND TOOK OFF IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. I KNEW I WAS ON MY OWN.

I HURRIED THROUGH THE WOODS AND ARRIVED AT MR. HARRINGTON'S STORE JUST AS THE LAST RAYS OF SUN VANISHED IN THE WEST. I MADE MY PURCHASE QUICKLY, DISCOURAGING ANY SMALL TALK FROM MR. HARRINGTON, AND HEADED WITH MY OILCAN DOWN THE ROAD AND INTO THE WOODS. IT WAS THEN THAT I REALIZED I HADN'T BROUGHT A LIGHT WITH ME. I'D BEEN DOWN THE ROAD MANY TIMES AND I KNEW EVERY STONE AND HOLE, BUT I NOW FELT COMPLETELY ENVELOPED IN INKY DARKNESS.

I WALKED CAREFULLY SO I WOULDN'T SPILL THE OIL, AND I WAS COVERING THE DISTANCE PRETTY WELL WHEN I HEARD IT. SOMETHING WAS WALKING ALONG THE ROAD BEHIND ME! THE SOUND WAS SOFT BUT STEADY, I HURRIED, BUT IT CAME RIGHT ALONG, KEEPING A CONSISTENT DISTANCE BETWEEN THE TWO OF US.

I WANTED TO TURN AROUND TO SEE IF I COULD TELL WHAT IT WAS, BUT I KNEW IT WAS TOO DARK TO SEE. I WAS TOO SCARED TO CALL OUT, SO I JUST WALKED A LITTLE FASTER. THE STEPS BEHIND ME CAME FASTER, TOO. GOOSEBUMPS WERE RISING ALL OVER MY BODY, I WAS NEARING THE BRIDGE AND THE FOOTSTEPS WERE NOW GETTING CLOSER.

COULD THERE BE SUCH A THING AS GHOSTS? COULD THAT DEAD MAN REALLY BE WALKING BEHIND ME IN THE DARK?

BY NOW, MY IMAGINATION WAS IN FULL SWING. I THOUGHT OF MEN GAMBLING AND BECOMING ANGRY, I PICTURED THEM KILLING THE POOR MAN OVER MONEY. I KNEW HE WAS BEHIND ME NOW. HE WAS COMING CLOSER AND CLOSER, AND I WAS BECOMING MORE FRIGHTENED BY THE MINUTE.

THEN SUDDENLY, SOMETHING LIKE TWO HANDS TOUCHED MY BACK. I WHIRLED AROUND, FLINGING MY ARMS AND LETTING THE CAN OF OIL FLY OUT OF MY HAND AND INTO THE WEEDS BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. I STOOD TREMBLING, SURE THAT I WAS NOW IN THE CLUTCHES OF A DEAD MAN. I LEANED OVER TO SEE WHAT HAD CAUGHT ME, AND I FELT A WET SLURP ACROSS MY FACE. SLOWLY MY NORMAL SENSES KICKED IN AND I REALIZED IT WAS BROWNIE. EVIDENTLY, HE HAD TIRED OF CHASING THE RABBIT, PICKED UP MY SCENT, AND FOLLOWED THE AFTER ALL.

IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT HE HAD CAUSED ME TO LOSE THE OIL CAN. I FOUND IT QUICKLY, BUT NOT BEFORE MOST OF THE OIL RAN OUT. I KNEW I WAS IN TROUBLE THEN. I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO GO BACK TO THE STORE AND GET MORE OIL.

BROWNIE AND I WENT ON HOME, AND I TRIED TO THINK OF A REASON WHY THE CAN WAS ALMOST EMPTY. I COULDN'T SAY I FELL BECAUSE THERE WAS NOTHING ON MY CLOTHES TO BACK THAT UP. FOR LACK OF A BETTER STORY, I BLAMED IT ON BROWNIE. I SAID HE JUMPED UP ON ME AND KNOCKED THE CAN OUT OF MY HAND. I THINK MY PALE FACE AND HANDS THAT WERE STILL A BIT SHAKY GAVE ME AWAY, I COULD TELL THAT NOBODY BELIEVED ME, SO I FINALLY TOLD THE TRUTH.

ALL MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS LAUGHED AT ME, OF COURSE. BROWNIE STOOD AROUND WAGGING HIS TAIL, EVIDENTLY THINKING HE HAD DONE SOMETHING GREAT.

DAD JUST SHOOK HIS HEAD, GOT IN THE TRUCK, AND DROVE TO MR. HARRINGTON'S STORE AND BOUGHT MORE OIL. I STAYED HOME AND LISTENED TO MOM'S LECTURE ABOUT BEING A WASTEFUL CHILD WHEN MONEY WAS SO SCARCE.

THERE ARE SOME THINGS WORSE THAN BEING WITH SPOOKS IN THE WOODS AT NIGHT. I WAS IN A FAMILY THAT LAUGHED FOR YEARS BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE IN A DOG AND A DEAD MAN WALKING.

THE EPISODE DID SPARE ME FROM ANY MORE NIGHTLY EXCURSIONS FOR A WHILE. MOST OF THE TIME UNTIL ALL THE NEIGHBORS FINALLY AGREED TO PUT IN THE ELECTRICITY, DAD JUST STOPPED AT THE STORE ON THE WAY HOME AND BOUGHT US SOME OIL!



WRITTEN BY: LONNIE E. BROWN

FROM THE BOOK - "STORIES YOU WON'T BELIEVE"

TITLED "BOOGERS AND OTHER THINGS"


COURTESY OF THE LOCAL PUBLIC LIBRARY, WHERE I RENT BOOKS FROM.

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