STORY COURTESY OF THE WAYNE COUNTY PUBLIC LIBRARY
PICTURE COURTESY OF SHUTTERSTOCK
"STORIES YOU WON'T BELIEVE" BY LONNIE E. BROWN, IS A BOOK FILLED WITH SHORT STORIES, THAT I AM SHARING WITH ALL OF YOU, WE'LL GO THRU IT STORY BY STORY.
THIS ONE IS -
"WHEN GRANNY WAS A BLUSHING BRIDE"
"WHEN GRANNY WAS A BLUSHING BRIDE"
THROUGH THE AGES, BRIDES HAVE WORRIED ABOUT THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO THEM ON THEIR WEDDING DAY. MY GRANDMOTHER SALLY WAS NO EXCEPTION. LIKE ALL BRIDES, SHE WAS CONCERNED WITH HER GOWN AND FOOD FOR HER FRIENDS AND RELATIVES WHO WOULD BE ATTENDING HER WEDDING AT THE LITTLE CHURCH NEAR HER HOME. LITTLE DID SHE KNOW THAT THESE THINGS WOULD TURN OUT TO BE THE LEAST OF HER WORRIES.
ON THIS SUNNY SATURDAY AFTERNOON IN THE LATE 1800'S, MANY PEOPLE HAD ALREADY GATHERED IN THE TWO-STORY LOG CABIN WHERE SALLY LIVED. THEY HAD COME TO WISH HER WELL AND TO ACCOMPANY THE WEDDING PARTY TO THE CHURCH.
HER BROTHER HOWARD AND HIS FRIENDS SAT IN THE LARGE LIVING ROOM, LOOKING OUT AT THE CORNFIELD THAT BORDERED THE FRONT YARD. THEY COMMENTED ON THE WAIST-HIGH CORN IN STRAIGHT ROWS THAT HAD BEEN HOED CLEAN OF WEEDS. THE CLEARED MIDDLE BETWEEN EACH ROW REMINDED THEM OF THE CHURCH AISLE SALLY WOULD SOON WALK DOWN.
WHILE THEY TALKED, SALLY CLIMBED THE STEPS TO THE UPSTAIRS BEDROOM TO DRESS FOR HER WEDDING. THE FLOOR CONSISTED OF LOOSE 18-INCH YELLOW POPLAR BOARDS THAT SALLY HAD CROSSED MANY TIMES WITHOUT MISHAP.
"HURRY, SAL!" HOWARD CALLED UP TO HER. "MA SAYS IT'S ALMOST TIME TO GO."
FEELING PRESSURED TO HURRY, SAL STRIPPED OFF ALL HER CLOTHES AND REACHED FOR HER NEW WHITE BLOOMERS AND PETTICOAT BESIDE THE WEDDING GOWN. SHE DID NOT NOTICE THAT HER MOTHER HAD ACCIDENTALLY MOVED THE BED A FEW INCHES FROM ITS USUAL PLACE WHEN SHE LAID OUT THE CLOTHES. COMPLETELY UNAWARE THAT ONE LEG OF THE BED NOW RESTED ON THE EDGE OF A LOOSE BOARD, SALLY SAT ON THE BED TO PULL ON HER BLOOMERS. HER WEIGHT CAUSED THE BOARD TO FLIP, LEAVING A WIDE OPENING IN THE FLOOR. SALLY WAS HORROR STICKEN AS THE BED TILTED AND FLUNG HER DOWN AONG THE PEOPLE BELOW. THERE SHE LAY, NOT IN HER WEDDING GOWN, BUT IN HER BIRTHDAY SUIT!
WHEN THE STUNNED ONLOOKERS REALIZED WHAT HAD HAPPENED, THEY BEGAN TO ROAR WITH LAUGHTER. ABSOLUTELY MORTIFIED, SALLY STRUGGLED TO HER FEET AND DASHED OUT THE FRONT DOOR FOR COVER IN THE CORNFIELD. THE CLEARED ROW DID NOT OFFER HER THE PROTECTION SHE SOUGHT.
HOWARD AND HIS FRIENDS COULD CLEARLY SEE HER STREAKING DOWN THE CORNROW DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE DOORWAY.
ATTEMPTING TO DIRECT HER OUT OF VIEW, HOWARD YELLED, "SKIP A ROW, SAL! SKIP A ROW!"
WHEN HOWARD'S WORDS FINALLY REGISTERED IN THE MIND OF THE BLUSHING BRIDE-TO-BE, SHE SKIPPED OUT OF SIGHT INTO THE NEXT ROW OF CORN.
BY THE TIME SALLY'S MOTHER RESCUED HER AND ESCORTED HER TO CHURCH, THE GROOM, THE PREACHER, AND THE GUESTS WERE ALL WAITING. IF SALLY BLUSHED BEHIND HER VEIL, NOBODY NOTICED. THEY WERE ALL TOO BUSY TRYING NOT TO LAUGH AT THE IMAGE ENGRAVED IN THEIR MINDS OF SALLY RUNNING NAKED DOWN THE CORNROW. SHE MARCHED DOWN THE AISLE WITHOUT A WORRY IN THE WORLD. THE WORST HAD ALREADY HAPPENED.
MOST BRIDES GET ONLY ONE NEW NAME ON THEIR WEDDING DAY, BUT MY GRANDMOTHER SALLY ACQUIRED TWO. HER MARRIAGE GAVE HER THE TITLE OF MRS. WILLIAM BROWN, BUT HER FRIENDS GAVE HER THE NICKNAME OF SKIP-A-ROW-SAL!
WRITTEN BY: LONNIE E. BROWN
FROM THE BOOK "STORIES YOU WON'T BELIEVE" - COMES
"WHEN GRANNY WAS A BLUSHING BRIDE".
COURTESY OF THE LOCAL LIBRARY I RENT BOOKS FROM, SHARING THIS STORY AND MORE FROM THIS SAME BOOK. HOPE ALL ENJOY IT.
02/12/2022
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